I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize