I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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