But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
