the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
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i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
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I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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