just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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