You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
