Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
