Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
