i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
