Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
