:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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