We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
