You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
