Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
