Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
