I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
