we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
