There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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