god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Randomize
