Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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