i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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