I seem to have left my pride at pride
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
