can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
