i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
