bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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