We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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