Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
