Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize