New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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