i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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