it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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