i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told grandpa to call you daddy
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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