I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize