Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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