Porn is love you can see.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
