i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
