you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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