I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
