Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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