I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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