Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
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