dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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