dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
did i just pee glitter
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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