You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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