stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
