Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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