theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
