margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
