talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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