i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
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My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
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Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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