I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Randomize
