Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
