bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize