yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
