i just google imaged poop.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
that may or may not have been my penis.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
