Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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