What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
