We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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