meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
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ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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