i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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