I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
