Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
