How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
