So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
